Back Cover Blurb–Work In Progress

So my back cover blurb is due in like a week. It’s supposed to hook the reader, grab their attention so they’ll buy my book and not the one next to it. And, while I realize that the editor will probably scratch this completely, I still want to turn in something good.

So here’s what I’ve got so far. What do you guys think?

 

 

Seventeen-year-old Mykaela Whindom is shattered by the secret she’s forced herself to keep: that her best friend drowned, while Mykaela was rescued by a stranger who mysteriously disappeared before she could learn his name.

But then she finds her handsome rescuer wounded on the beach, and her family offers to let him stay at their bed and breakfast. Before she can stop it, she’s working alongside Dylan cleaning guest rooms. And even though she’s suspicious of his flimsy and vague answers to her questions, she’s drawn to his kind spirit and faded Irish brogue.

When the bodies of young women begin to wash ashore, the small coastal town of Harmony Harbor is on the lookout for a deranged serial killer. But what they don’t know is that hidden beneath the clashing waves of the ocean’s surface lies a secret civilization of lost souls—humans who’ve committed suicide by water and are cursed to live forever in the solitude of the sea.

 

And Mykaela is falling in love with one of them.

 

 

I like the ending, but I think the beginning needs a little work. Seems sketchy to me.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Back Cover Blurb–Work In Progress

  1. sounds great! this is what I would change:

    Seventeen-year-old Mykaela Whindom is shattered by the secret she’s forced (herself-OMIT) to keep: (that-OMIT) her best friend drowned (,-OMIT) while Mykaela was rescued by a MYSTERIOUS stranger (who mysteriously disappeared before she could learn his name.- OMIT)

    (But then-OMIT) SHORTLY AFTER, she finds her handsome rescuer wounded on the beach, (and-OMIT) her family offers to let him stay at their bed and breakfast. Before she can (stop it- PROTEST), she’s working alongside HIM cleaning guest rooms. And even though she’s suspicious of his flimsy and vague answers to her questions, she’s drawn to his kind spirit and faded Irish brogue. (I LIKE THIS PART)

    When the bodies of young women begin to wash ashore, the small coastal town of Harmony Harbor is on the lookout for a deranged serial killer. But what they don’t know is that hidden beneath the clashing waves of the ocean’s surface lies a secret civilization of lost souls—humans who’ve committed suicide by water and are cursed to live forever in the solitude of the sea. (I REALLY LIKE THIS– )

    And Mykaela is falling in love with one of them.

    GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATS!!!! (these are just suggestions.)

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